From Ross Gay: ” Sharon Salzberg said something like ‘ despair is sureness.’ When you feel despair, you know what’s gonna happen. My intention is to feel curiosity. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel despair…but my intention and my practice is to feel curiosity…[it] becomes a kind of injury when we get convinced that the only thing that’s happening is horrible.”
Brene Brown advices micro-dosing on the news. One of my friends advised micro-dosing on CBD mints. I have tried both. The mints make me sleepy and I am already tired. But limiting the news has made me feel much better. It’s self-care, friends. I am in the habit of reading the New York Times, and I will continue to. This week I have turned to the most positive section. Obituaries.
My favorite is about Geoff Capes who was at one time the World’s Strongest Man and a three time Olympic shot-putter. He was 75, and no cause was given. The New York Times clearly does not have the same editiorial guidelines as the Chilkat Valley News. No one dies here of nothing. There must be a cause. But that’s a minor quibble. Geoff ( I feel like I know him now) was 6’6″, 365 pounds and could sprint 200 yards in 25 seconds. He could pull 12 ton trucks uphill and flip little cars to change a tire. He grew up poor, he said his family was on the lowest rung of the tall ladder of the English class system. His dad was a laborer, and his mother worked in a nursing home. His clothes came from residents who had died.
Before he became famous for being so strong Geoff worked as a police officer. He was sent to arrest a man who hadn’t paid some fines. When the man opened his front door, Geoff noticed pretty little birds in cages. He asked the man if he could see them, and according to the obit they had “a lovely chat” over a cup of tea about parakeets. Then Geoff arrested him. ( He came peacefully). A few weeks later the man gave Geoff a breeding pair of Budgies. Turns out the strong man loved them, and pretty soon he had a couple hundred and was winning bird shows and weight lifting events. The birds brought out his gentler side, he said.
I attended the safe-space meeting for the LQBTQ+ community in Haines on Friday. As I walked into the pizza place a cop car pulled up. Then an officer in full uniform came in the door. Gun, bullet proof vest, badge. Radio. The whole kit and caboodle. I stiffened even though I know and like him. He’s my neighbor. But this is our world right now– friend or foe? Then he bear hugged the organizer, a woman who used to be a man— and told her she was courageous and he had her back and everyone else’s there.
This is who we are.
Amen.
If we pay attention– really pay attention– there is so much happening all the time that is wonderful and surprising in good ways. Big, like that– and little too. Ross Gay wrote The Book of Delights, in which he spent a year writing every single day about something that delighted him. Not because everything was so fabulous, but because it wasn’t, and he was determined to make at least part of each day joyful. A weird thing happened. By actively looking for what delighted him, he found joy.
Where did that brand new golf ball on the beach come from, and why did it make me laugh?
Also, I was on a tour in Chinatown, and saw a wedding– I think? Or was it a wedding photo-shoot? Or maybe a wedding fashion ad ? Or an album cover? I don’t know– but it made me smile whatever it was.
